The Armchair Season Ticket

I don't know about you but I feel like I've hardly had a break from football so far this year. 

The World Cup was won just 24 days ago, yet the seasons upon us already with the football league kicking off as early as 7:30 on Friday as Blackburn take on Cardiff. That's less than a months grace, yet Southampton have almost managed to sell an entire starting eleven in that time!

That said, I remain focused and undaunted at the task ahead of me this season. I have a week to prepare and decide upon, before changing my mind and having to re-decide my fantasy football side for the various work and mates leagues I will join. 

I've also got time to consider my season long bets, trying to come up with that magical result of the winner of all 4 leagues that will return a figure with many zero's.

And I've also got some time to write another article or two before the season starts and so I thought I'd start with this one, a look at the associated costs of being an Armchair Supporter over the coming 10 months of action - because it's not cheap you know.

TV Packages

An Armchair Supporter cannot survive on simply BBC and ITV alone, he must have the assistance of Sky Sports and possibly BT Sport... I've yet to decide whether I want to pay good money in order to listen to Michael Owen distress me... but for the purpose of this lets assume we're going for both subscriptions. 

Stevie Mac contemplates a way of terminating the Michael Owen Hargreaves trianglur tedium. 

So Sky Sports will cost you £43.50 a month http://www.sky.com/quickbuy/new (new customer discount not included).

In return you get a shit load of football plus cricket, F1, the NFL and lots more. The downside is you also get all those crap programmes the missus will want to watch, but that should at least earn you some Brownie points, important if you plan on watching at least 3 full games over each weekend.

Then, if you do want the option to watch the additional 38 Premier league matches, 24 FA Cup matches plus Europa and Scottish Premier Leagues you'll need to add £12 per month on top of that to get BT Sport (http://sport.bt.com/pages/sport/).

 

Sustenance 

So we're off to an expensive start already, yet this is just the cost to watch the blooming stuff, this doesn't include the essentials you need to go alongside the watching of football, food and drink.

With this blog not being that successful (yet) and having not had a meaningful pay rise for years in my day job, I wanted to keep the costs to a bare minimum so I've simply looked at the cost of two 15 packs of beers and a big multi pack (14) of McCoys man crisps which I estimate, if only used during football watching would last about a month - that's about a packet of crisps a game and two beers for a week of watching 3 to 4 games. 

Fortunately Sainsburys have two packs of a range of beers on offer at a cost of £18 (Link to drink promotion) and with the crisps costing £4, that means we're looking at another £22 per month, assuming I 'drink responsibly'! 

Vices

We all have a vice or two, but the ones I'm particularly on about here is smoking and gambling, both things I do far too much of.

I'd like to thin the gambling plays for itself over time, which is obviously far from the truth but for the basis of this I'm going to suggest a cost of £20 a month to cover one of these activities - but I should probably have doubled that figure!

Watching away from home

Every now and then I will get the urge to venture outside, not just for a fleeting cigarette, but to enjoy the company of my fellow man at a drinking establishment to watch a game of football. To bask in the peculiar sights, sounds and smells that a crappy pub and a group of football fans can bring.

Obviously after I've done that and witnessed some drunk geezer bang on about how great Liverpool were in the 80's and why Jordan Henderson is the greatest thing since sliced bread I will remember why I preferred to watch games at home, but if we say I did this once a month at a cost of 4 pints and a meal of steak and chips, we're easily looking at an extra £25 a month.

Yes, watching at the pub is normally this exciting

Monthly Cost Summary

Luckily a season lasts 10 months, so the maths is reasonably easily here. So to cover off we have;

£55.50     TV Subscriptions

£22.00     Food and Drink

£20.00     Additional naughtiness

£25.00     Escaping the missus

---------

£122.50 per month x 10 = a staggering £1,225 for the season!

To put this into context, you could get a top price season ticket at one of Manchester City (£860), Liverpool (£869) or Manchester United (£950) and almost Chelsea (£1,250)!

Conclusion

It's not fecking cheap is it, this football obsession of ours!

The other thing to realise is the basic figure above was a conservative estimate and doesn't include one off or ad hoc costs such as your teams new shirt (at least £50) a new telly (anywhere upwards of £400) and flowers / chocolates / meals out for the other-half to keep her sweet through the season (£1,000's!)

The overall price could actually be equivalent to the most expensive season ticket this year of £2,013 - well done Arsenal fans you've won something this season.

So maybe this should be a stark eye opener for fans that rejoice in the news that their club has signed an inexperienced left back for £27 million, because whether it's by going to the game, watching it on TV or buying products from companies that pay top dollar to associate themselves with football, we will end up meeting that cost in some way regardless of what some rich oligarch or Sheik may tell you. 

Maybe a cup of coco and watching Match of the Day at a cost of surely no more than £200 a season is the way to go?!?

The Armchair Supporter 

England needs... who?

Winston Churchill, Horatio Nelson, Martin Johnson, Bobby Moore and Ian Botham... what do these great Englishman have in common? 

Yes that's right, they're all great leaders. They all have that god given talent, something that cannot be taught, that ability to inspire their fellow man to fight towards a common goal, to extract that extra percentage point of performance in others that is so often the difference between success and failure.

"Over to you mate" Wayne Rooney seems certain to replace close peri end Steven Gerrard as England Captain

And those names are just an example of a prominent and very successful few, I'm sure there are many more names that come to your mind when you read this because we've always produced great "El Capitano's"...yet this only goes to louden the question 

"Where are our next great leaders?"

I will stay clear of debating this in a political sense (even if there is a big debate to be had there), but the England football team are on the search for a new skipper after Steven Gerrard confirmed his retirement from International Football and it surely won't be long before the ECB look to replace Chef with a new Chief following that woeful performance versus India in the 2nd test.

And so two opportunities to become legends like the names above now present themselves to the next chosen individuals, however, what's very sad is to realise is that there is no outstanding candidate, no really captivating heir apparent waiting in the wings that make you believe they will assume control and lead these sides to glory and greatness once again.

As was discussed in this blog previously (Cook feeling the heat) following the disappointing series versus Sri Lanka there was no outstanding candidates then, with some assuming Ian Bell was the likely successor due to his seniority in the side. 

Cook to bell "Oh shit!"

Bell to himself "Oh shit indeed"

But we are a little over a month on and the situation appears even more dire that it was, what with question marks arising about Ian's and fellow candidate Stuart Broad's form and Alastair seemingly past the point where he could possibly survive - mark my words he will be culled at the end of this series if not before.

And then we have the England football side, where despite Wroy's best efforts Steven Gerrard couldn't be convinced to stay on. Could that be because he'd seen enough of the shower of shit that was England in Brazil? Maybe! 

Now in my mind, I still believe another change is needed at the top (Fucking hell Wroy!), but if a new skipper is all we're going to get I'd want an appointment a little more inspiring than Wayne Rooney who seems to be the only seriously viable candidate.

Maybe this is a little unfair on Wayne, it's not his fault there's no one more obvious than him to do the job, but for those of you close to the game I'm sure you would agree that the feel is not quite right, that he's more of a "whinger" than a "winner". Does your mind paint a vivid image of a delighted Wayne Rooney being held aloft Jack Wilshire and Leighton Baines shoulders grasping the European Championship trophy? I thought not! 

Of course criticising is very easy to do, anyone can "boooooo", decree a decision was wrong, shout "you're shit!" at the top of their voice, but suggesting an alternative solution is a lot harder, especially in these cases but I think the key in both is for the powers that be to give themselves time.

In terms of the England cricket team I think they need to put Cook on notice that he's leaving at the end of the India series to see if that prompts any new dynamic from a potential leader from within, to see if it makes someone else step up to the mark. If no one does, the leave the door open still by making a temporary appointment - it may not be great in the short term, but isn't that preferable to making a bad appointment long term? 

And similarly with the football team, I would appoint a captain for purely the next couple of games, I'd be willing to live with a bit of uncertainty in the hope that a much clearer path will present itself. I don't see this happening, I expect a permanent appointment will be seen as a nessity in both instances, but perhaps there is logic in what I'm suggesting because as a great man once said;

“The greatest lesson in life is to know that even fools are right sometimes.”

The Armchair Supporter

World Class Germany

Who would have thought it, after a splendid three weeks of festival football, it's the Germans that are World Champions. It seems so obvious at this point, after all you should "never discount the Germans" yet when the journey started there were many a person who ignored the obvious claims of this well drilled, well oiled side.

One of the key accusations levelled at this German side was it lacked a "World Class Player". People questioned whether they had a player in the mould of a Messi, a Ronaldo or a Neymar, a poster boy to pin a countries hopes on. Yes they were a great team, but who would provide those inspirational moments of genius when it mattered most?

Well in hindsight, maybe we were a little blind to the World Class players Germany have running through their ranks.

In Manuel Neuer they have the undoubted World's best number 1. Too many people will rate goalkeepers by the shots they save, but Neuer's performance against Algeria should have showed to many that top level goalkeeping requires a lot more skill than the basic necessity of shot stopping.

His decision making, as he looked to sweep up behind a fragile looking German defence was spot on every time and this was a key performance on their way to the final. Even in the final, where he didn't have a shot to save, there was one key moment where Neuer had to literally stand tall.

When Rodrigo Palacio was set free inside the area, there was a choice to make. Neuer choose to quickly advance, imposing his big luminous green frame into the strikers eyes. Just this sheer presence was enough to panic and rush Palacio, resulting in a poor execution of his attempted chip. It was simply brilliant from Neuer, it was essentially a save without making save.

Other names that instantly stick out from the German squad in hindsight are players such as Philip Lahm, Bastian "the brain" Schweinsteiger and Thomas Müller

Lahm, one of the best full backs to have ever graced the game, was deemed so good that it would be a waste to play him their by the master that is Pep Guardiola, who employed him in a deep lying central midfield role this season. The fact that he was able to adapt and look like he'd played their all his life is a mark of this guys class. Could you imagine someone like Leighton Baines switching so effortlessly to this role?

And what can I say about Schweinsteiger that does this guy justice? He is just simply superb, there is no one better in the game at what he does. Can you name me a midfielder in this World Cup that you'd rather have? What's that you say Liverpool fan, "Steven Gerrard?" Ha, ha, very funny!

And then we have Müller, the golden boot winner at the last World Cup. If that doesn't make you World Class already, the fact he scored 5 more in this World Cup to bring his overall tally to 10, hot on the heels of Miroslav Klose's recently gained record of 16 all time World Cup goals what does?

And so now you start to realise that the reason Germany didn't have "one" World Class player is because they had lots of them, essentially 11 at any given moment, all managed by a World Class Manager in Joachim Löw. To coin a phrase, we were looking at Vorsprung Durch Können.

Maybe the willingness of some to play down Germany's claims were built from hope more than anything real, especially as in this country the Germans are a side we'd prefer to lose. Maybe we were led astray by the media who preferred to focus on big South American names and the claims of those teams than a "functional" Germany, but I'm sure what has become evidently clear to all of us now is that Germany is a world class team, set to rule the footballing stage for years to come. 

So I guess all that's left to say is "Sehr Gut Detuscheland, Sehr Gut" and to Brazil who have hosted a magical World Cup, possibly the best since Italia 90, "obrigado"

The Armchair Supporter

Sublime Germany or Woeful Brazil

Germany 7 (Seven), Brazil 1. Yes that's right, Germany 7 (Seven), Brazil 1!

Never has there been such a thrashing in the World Cup since... well the start of this World Cup when the Dutch beat the reigning World Champions 5-1 to spark this tournament into life.

But that shouldn't detract from the fact this was an astonishing result, because even if this blog suggested Brazil would struggle following the loss of Neymar this morning, it was a crash of epic proportions.

However, was this really a shock? Was this an example of magnificent German efficiency or had we overlooked a number of glaring factors that created the perfect storm? A number of significant events that resulted in a score line that will haunt many of that Brazil side for the rest of their lives.

     Eins, swi, dri, vier, funf, sex, siben, jaaaaaaaa! (Bloody smug Germans!)

As we've briefly touched on, the spine of Brazils side was missing tonight, with their centre half and captain suspended and key play maker and goal threat Neymar out with his back injury. These are players any side would find hard to replace.

In the case of Thiago Silva, this was a player who had complemented so well with the erratic all action style of David Luiz, so it left Brazil with a glaring dilemma at centre half in such a big game. The uncertainly created by the absence of their skipper no doubt contributed to the awful first goal they conceded in the 10th minute where Thomas Muller was allowed to place a side foot from the six yard box into the next from a corner. To say is was school boy defending would be offending school boys.

And it was from there that the problems escalated to silly proportions. The players confidence was already low following the loss of Neymar, but they now found themselves 1-0 down early on and with the un-inspirational figures of Fred, Hulk and a dog (Bernard?) in attack. Apart from Hulk, who didn't threaten to rip his shirt off once, Fred and Bernard are perfect English names to describe the excitment these players pose as attacking threats!

So the Brazil players are rocked, their game plan of staying tight undone and bays of expectant fans are piling the pressure for a response from an impotent attack. But of course all of this only served to play into the Germans hands even more, because now they could fall into their tried and tested plan of sitting back, inviting players onto them and then attacking those vacant spaces at pace.

With characters like Maicon, Luiz and Marcelo in the Brazil side, they were of course only to happy to play right into Germany's hands and it wasn't too long before Klose broke Ronaldo's World Cup goal scoring record to make it 2-0.

Brazil were already looking shell shocked and statuesque at this point, so it wasn't that much of a surprise that in a blink of an eye 2-0 became 3, then 4-0, and then 5... all within half an hour. 

It really was a case of Brazil suffering a complete mind fuck. They had no leader on the pitch, no player with the sense to get hold of the ball and slow the game down - make sure they stayed in the game at 2-0, got to half time and try and re-group. They instead just panicked, held up a surrender flag or both. 

    Fred tries to work out the score?

So as good as the Germans were, after all you don't win by 6 goals through just luck alone, I do think they were given a massive helping hand by Brazil being so bad. 

After all this was by no means a classic Brazil side. Looking through the team sheet, you have a Goalkeeper who couldn't get a game for QPR, a right back who's best days were behind him at the last World Cup, a midfielder come defender that looked like a 1970's soul singer / porn star and a striker who's only significant contribution all tournament was to fall over in the first game. Let's face it, they were crap and could have been found out much earlier on.

And so I would therefore wish to add a word of warning for those thinking the final will now be a forgone conclusion. Neither Argentina or Holland are broken teams, they still have momentum and belief firmly on their side. They also have significant weapons to threaten a German defence that has shown venerability, especially to pace which the Dutch specifically have in spades.  

My personal opinion is that in the second semi final, Hollands defence will do more to keep out Argentina's star forwards that the other way around. In fact, if the Dutch get an early lead, a similar situation as to tonight could ensue as Argentina pile forward leaving Robben time and space to dance his merry dance.

And should that prophecy come true, I then fully believe Van Gaal will have the necessary tactical genius to outwit his German counterpart, in what could be a classic game of chess in the final (this should translate as a boring game to most of you!).

Therefore out of interest, I made a quick enquiry with my local online bookmaker this evening to find that I'm suggesting the current 4-1 outsider and only team without a star on their crest will be the one to end victorious. Maybe I have gone mad... or maybe, just maybe, it's a thought of genius. Either way, you read it hear first.

The Armchair Supporter

Brazils lost hope

It's funny how quickly things change in sport. 

This time last week it seemed Brazil were destined to win their own World Cup, with decisions and events all going in their favour in the run up to their quarter final with Columbia. 

Whether you cited luck or conspiracy for the above, something you couldn't argue with was the fact that the thousands upon thousands of Brazilian fans were managing to transmit an overwhelming positive vibe through our TV sets, you knew they believed their side could become champions in their own back yard, that they felt it was their national sides destiny to win the World Cup to add an unbalanced sixth star to their international crest.

Yet now, just hours before their World Cup Semi Final against an ever efficient German side you can feel the mass change in mood. The move away from expectation to desperate hope. The belief that once was there has now gone all because of one thing...  the loss of the prodigal son Neymar.

True the loss of their captain Thiago Silva will also be greatly missed this evening, but the Brazilian fans would have coped with this and still been as confident as ever, it is the loss of their playmaker, their master in chief, their one exceptional talent that has shattered the nerves of so many fellow countryman. 

True for many, myself included, Neymar had yet to really do it on the big stage having been overshadowed by a little known player by the name of Lionel Messi at Barcelona, but there was no doubt Neymar's stock was growing as the World Cup developed.

He was the one rough diamond in what has to be said is a far from vintage Brazilian side. Functional is the best way I can describe the sum of the sides other parts, which is not something you tend to say about the great Brazil sides of the 70's, 80's and 90's.

Yet this particular diamond was beginning to sparkle, shining light onto his team. Neymar was showing a maturity beyond his youthful years, growing with confidence as the tournament progressed despite the weight of over 20 million peoples hopes and dreams resting on his narrow shoulders. 

Destiny seemed to be calling, with Brazil and Argentina drawn on opposite sides, the script for the final had almost been written, "the young pretender against his mentor" but alas we have been cruelly robbed of this prospect by what was essentially a very crude challenge in a hot and heated South American affair in the quarter final (although take nothing away from that game, I loved the fact that players were able to challenge like the old days without fear of a yellow card!)

True, Neymar's injury may not prevent Brazil getting to the final and players and coaches are doing there best to put a brave face on it with Soclari saying;

 "Neymar has done his share. Now it's up to us to do our share. We have accepted what has happened and we are focusing on other things. In this match we will be playing not just for ourselves and everything we've ever dreamed of, but also for Neymar and everything he's done for us."

Yet with no real replacement of the same caliber and a feeling that the quotes being made are simply lip service and lack a real conviction, I expect a heart breaking end to the story for a country that has given us such a fabulous World Cup. 

Perhaps it might be better that this dream is ended tonight with thoughts of what might have been, rather than suffer the ignominy of failure in the final of their own tournament, because not even the statue overlooking Rio can grant the miracle that would be required to win the World Cup for here.

The Armchair Supporter 

USA Today

Today could prove to be a landmark day for the future US national football team?

Not only is a place in the World Cup quarter finals at stake, with millions of countrymen tunning in to watch their new favourite sport, todays game represents a huge chance to inspire the next wave of national players to come.

Although today's side has more than a hint of a chance against a Belgium side that look like they will be weakened through injury' to key defensive players and the growing feeling of confidence coming from the camp what with coach Jurgen Klinsman's rearranging flights home for after the final, winning the World Cup in 2014 is possibly a step to far for the current side, but...

Could the USA win the World Cup within the next 20 years?

It's not a thought many English football fans would want to comprehend at this moment give the state of our own national side, but given the rapid progress US football has shown over the previous 20 years since the 1994 World Cup, you'd have to admit that if that level of progression was to continue at the same pace you could very easily see US hands getting on that famous gold trophy.

True, the closer you get to the top the harder and slower the rate of progression becomes, but what has been done to both expand the popularity of the domestic league and increase participation in the sport has been impressive and there's no doubting the countries ability to train top athletes so failure wouldn't be through the lack of trying or funding.

However, the main doubt that exists in my mind at present is that there has yet to be a top, top, player to come out of the continent of North America, one to match the quality produced by their southern counterparts. 

The US have always had brilliant goalkeepers such as Tony Meola, Kasey Keller, Brad Friedel and Tim Howard to name but a few and in Clint Dempsey and Landon Donavan, they have produced two highly likeable players that have really suited the English game with their industrious work rate mixed with intelligent skill, but you'd be hard pushed to put them in the same class bracket as some of Europe's top players such as a Robben, a Benzema, even a Rooney, let alone a Messi or a Ronaldo. 

Tim Howard - great goalkeeper, awful beard

If the mid 2000 Football Manager PC games where anything to go buy, there was much hope that Freddy Adu had the ability to be a player of that very level following his early promise at a tender age. Sadly Freddy never became the beast that countless laptop managers believed him to be and turned out to be more hype than new hope and very quickly disappeared from view (I believe he is playing in Norway from next season?) but it's the level that Freddy never achieved that America's youngsters need to aspire to.

It also remains to be seen if footballs new found following in the US would remain satisfied by the domestic offerings of the MLS when compared to what has been a very special World Cup or if a lot of these fans will quickly migrate back to America's traditional sports like the National Football League when they come back into focus, but the exposure received to date retains hope that the next wave of Michael Bradley's (certain hoping for more of them and less Jozy Altidore's!) may have already been hooked.

Ultimately time will tell, but what's certain is today's game has the potential to have a big impact on the future of US football. Who knows, this could begin the path to the US team winning in Russia 2018 - and what American wouldn't love winning there first World Cup in the communists back yard!

The Armchair Supporter

Arjen's perfect 10

Like or loath him, you have to concede that Arjen Robben had made a big splash at this World Cup prior to the Dutch's last 16 game against Mexico. 

3 sparkling performances had helped springboard Holland into the knockout stages, yet Arjen is facing a wave of criticism on the twittersphere over his actions in the dying minutes of that last 16 game. 

Yet what most that choose to criticise fail to understand is what Arjen provided us during that game  was a masterclass in diving, resulting in the perfect dive!

     laying the trap

Example 1: the late and un-noticed dive

Late in the first half, Arjen is fed in on goal by his mate Robin and drives towards goal. As he does the Mexican form a pincer movement and attack our man from both the front and behind, yet so focused on the ball was Arjen he failed to anticipate the contact, meaning his eventual finishing dive was off time, rather limp and attracted little to no attention from the onlooking judges. Score 0/10 very poor effort!

     got you!

Example 2: the tempter

We move into second half with the Dutch trailing and our man in control of the ball in front of two Mexican defenders outside the box. 

The first key for Arjen is to get himself into the box and with a quickstep and a shuffle he's in the perfect position with ball moving slightly away from him and defenders legs isolated and stretched out beneath him.

Hoping he can attract a desperation flick from the defender, Arjen dangles himself like a carrot over the defender, but on this occasion he's not attracted by the bait being offered. 

Having anticipated some contact would be forthcoming, Arjen realises mid flight he could look suspect and so makes movements so there is contact hoping for either a favourable and very fortunate decision or to at least install sufficient doubt in the referees mind to avoid a booking. Score 5/10 Some clever aspects, but lacking in end result.

     Arms back, head back, darling...

Example 3: The perfect dive

Many would have been tempted to have given up at this stage having had 2 failed attempts prior and it being late in the game but not Arjen, no way!

The momentum has now sung Holland's way, he can feel it, he knows the opposition are feeling it which will cloud their decision aiming and he knows that this pressure can also affect the referee. He knows if he can make something happen inside the box, the referee will be more enticed to call it at this stage than any other (after all there's no way he will want an extra 30 minutes in this heat)!

Arjen also uses his previously failed attempts to his advantage. As he approaches the box in his usual power running style, our hero comes across one of the players in example 2, but because he wasn't tempted previously he ignores him and carries on to the byline. 

It is then after a look up to acknowledge there is no Dutchman in the box that he spies Rafael Màrquez who he knows is an easy target. The guy has previous (not just in this game) and seeing the poor square on position he's taken in relation to himself, he knows all is needed is a simple poor touch inside to nowhere.

Alas, as soon as this touch is made this Rafael begins to lurch forward with a stray leg and the rest is pure poetry in motion. Arjen is so good in these situations he knew Rafael's leg was coming before Rafael did, he was primed and ready for it, ready to take flight into the dive at just the right point. 

The contact was minimal, yet very evident. There was enough for the referee to notice, not too much to cause injury. Arjen then lifts his hands and his head in that motion that is well know by referees all the World over, it's that "look at me, I've been fouled pose" but the poise and the form on this from Arjen is something else.

The dive is not over stated, it's not over powering, it's the perfect balance of questioning designed to illicit the right feeling inside the referee to reach for his whistle and blow, it's like tapping the referee on the shoulder and whispering "have you seen what has happened here?" 

There was barely a second between the point of contact and the pointing to the spot, the referees decision instant which should leave you in no doubt how good this was by Arjen. Score 10/10 simply brilliant Sir, the perfect dive!

     Job done! 

You see the dive wasn't a case of someone just going into the box and falling over, no this was a dive of great skill, it was crafted from years of experience by a man who can only be described as an expert in this particular field, someone who knows his art inside out, knows how to connect with a referee and get the response he's after, whether he's impeded or not.

This was no 'Fred' dive, which was laughable for how bad it was even if it did get the desired result. No! This was a dive worthy of the World stage it was on, it was so good it's divided opinion, it's a dive that should, neigh, must be celebrated for how good it was. 

After all it was a dive that got the most out of the given situation and probably most importantly of all, it was a dive that resulted in Holland having the chance to win the game.

The Armchair Supporter

  

Tour de France - an idiots guide

It's just silly men in Lycra on bikes right?

To the uniformed sports watcher the Tour De France looks a very strange affair and is probably not something you mark on your calendar as a must watch event for a number of reasons.

Just the thought of watching men in Lycra sweat it out would be an instant turn off for some and add in the fact that it's a slow watch (each days 'stage' takes around 6 hours to complete) and a watcher needs a base level of knowledge to understand what's going on (it's not simply a straight race) mean it's not something that is instantly accessible and endearing to the casual Armchair Supporter.

However, after this Armchair Supporters interest was aroused by the first British success in the race in 2012 courtesy of Bradley Wiggins, I took a lot closer watch of the 2013 Tour De France and would you believe it, like London buses a second British winner was produced in Chris Froome.

This has meant I have been quietly looking forward to 2014 race, especially as this year "le grand de part" (or start in English) is in Yorkshire and so in an effort to attract some other newbies to the sport so I can find people to talk about it to (veteran watches seem a bit too in the know to want to talk to) I've put together this idiots guide - the idiot being the one that put it together, i.e. me

Part 1 - it's a race with lots of other little races trapped inside

So this years race takes place over a 3 week period (5th July to 27th July), with there being 21 individual stages covering a total of around 2276 miles (3664 kilometres) for the riders to complete.  

The basic idea behind winning the Tour is to travel the entire distance in the shortest amount of time, however very few will set out at the start of the race with the goal of being overall champion.

Some will set out to win a days a stage and many a rider would be happy to retire with just that achievement to their name, but each days stage will also contain mini 'sprint' and 'king of the mountains' races within them.

These are points during the stage where riders will earn points* for coming across this checkpoint in 1st, 2nd, 3rd etc and these points contribute towards the overall sprints and king of the mountain competitions. 

*The number of places that receive points and points awarded vary depending on factors such as the gradient of the mountain. I've provided links below if you want to know more.

 

Part 2 - pretty jersey's aren't just for show 

Most will probably have heard of the 'Yellow Jersey' or maillot jeanue to give you it's french name. This jersey is to signify the person leading the overall race i.e. the person who has got the lowest time so far), but the other colours on show aren't necessarily a daring choice from that rider.

Green jersey (maillot vert) is given to the person leading the points standings for the 'sprints category'

White jersey with red spots (maillot à pois rouges) is the fashion disaster that is given to the rider who is leading the king of the mountains contest.

White jersey (maillot blanc) is awarded to the leading rider overall standings) under the age of 25

A rainbow coloured jersey signifies that rider is the current World Champion and a counties National Champions can also wear his national countries champion jersey's on certain stages just to add to the myriad of colours in the pellaton.

Part 3 - it's actually a team sport

This may sound crazy at first, because riding a bike is a solo pursuit, but the Tour De France is actually a team sport. Each team will have a roster of 9 riders with a defined leader (the one charged with bringing glory to that team). 

The rest of the team are essentially there to support that effort, for example a 'domestique' riders role is to do all the chores for the team (i.e. Dropping to the back of the pack to the support car yo get food and water, then riding like crazy to get back to his group and dish out the supplies).

But perhaps the most impressive example of team work from riders is towards then end of a stage where there is a 'sprint finish'. 

The teams lead sprinter will look to organise his riders into a long train in front of him and as the pace increases and the finish draws ever close those in front of him will peal off, eventually leaving two, the sprinter and his lead out man. The sprinter will then look to peel of his lead out man at just the right moment to power to a finish over the line. 

http://youtu.be/7GnKXRFfgvw - a typical example of a sprint finish

Britain's Mark Cavendish is an expert at this part of cycling having won 25 individual stage wins to date and will be hoping to land a stage win in Yorkshire 

Part 4 - Is there anything else I need to know?

To give a stage a further dimension, an interesting kind of cat versus mouse battle can form.

The word peloton is used to describe the main bunch of riders in the race and as you can imagine there is a great slipstream benefit of being in this group, however it would be pretty dull if everyone stuck to the group and so some riders intent on getting their face on the telly for that afternoon get out of their saddle and power off into distance.

This will usually result in the riders in the peloton (the cat) looking round at each other and deciding whether to chase these guys down to stop them getting away or simply let them get on with it and hope they eventually tire back to the peloton.

If left to get on it, the 'breakaway group' (the mice) will look to work together to build a lead that they think will carry them to the finish before the main group can catch them and you're left with an interesting "will they, won't they succeed"? scenario.

Additionally, if the breakaway group look like they might succeed naturally the members off that group start to turn on each other, not wanting to lead the group and sap their energy whilst letting their rivals for the stage win recover. 

Part 5 - ok, if I watch, who should I look out for?

The trio likely to lock horns for the yellow jersey is last years defending champion Chris Froome, spaniard Alberto Contador and Italian Vincenzo Nibali.

For Sprint finishes expect Mark Cavendish and Peter Sagan to be in the thick of things. Other names to look out for are Marcel Kittle, Alejandro Valverde and Teejay van Garderen.

To conclude

Although this guide is not enough to help you understand how incredible these athletes are, hopefully it has given you a basic taste of what the race is about and intrigued enough to want to find out a bit more. 

I've provided some useful links below to more information if you want it. The race is shown live on Eurosport with ITV 4 normally providing highlights of that days stage later in the afternoon.

I certainly wouldn't suggest you look to sit down and watch a full days racing as a novice (as nice as the scenery they ride past is, you'll find that dull), it's more a case of having it on in the background as you do something else or flicking in from time to time as the race develops before catching the final stages. 

 

www.letour.com   official Tour website (English version)

tv.eurosport.co.uk    Eurosport coverage Guide

www.itv.com/tourdefrance    ITV coverage page

wikipedia.org/wiki/Tour_de_France    Tour Wikipedia page

In addition, the BBC sport website will have a live blog providing updates on the stages through the tour and of course if your in the Yorkshire area, why not pop along to watch.

letour.yorkshire.com   specific information about the stages in Yorkshire

All comments welcome...

The Armchair Supporter 

Suarez, a troubled genius

Looking back at some of the greats that have graced the game of football, it's easy to name players that had a god given talent, but also showed an area of mental frailty, a part of their makeup that also let them down.

For many of you England fans of a certain age 'Gazza' or Paul Gascoigne to give him his full name will have instantly come to mind at this point. It can be strongly argued that he was the most naturally talented modern day player to pull on an England shirt, yet controversy has followed him throughout his life, his obsessive compulsive tendencies being something that probably contributed to his genius but almost certainly detracted away from it, as alcohol addiction and everything that comes with that blighted his life and those closest to him both during his playing days and into retirement.

George Best the Northern Irish and Manchester United legend was another talent that has been sadly lost to alcohol addiction and Maradona, is possibly the most flawed genius of all for a variety of reasons.

However, as the professional era has taken hold and people's understanding of substance addiction develops it's moments of rage, flashes of aggression, that is becoming the more common flaw amongst our modern day superstars with Paulo Di Canio, Roy Keene and Mario Balotelli classic examples of multiple offenders.

Others include Eric Cantona the mercurial maverick who famously whilst playing for Manchester United 'Kung Fu kicked' a Crystal Palace 'fan' (in the loosest sense) whilst leaving the field of play having been sent off only moments earlier and fellow Frenchman Zinedine Zidane who shocked the world with his head butt into the chest of Marco Materazzi on the biggest stage of all, the 2006 World Cup Final, his final game before retiring (announced before the game). Who can forget the image of Zinedine trudging of the pitch, past the trophy, in the knowledge this was his last act.

And so this brings me to the events of the past week, where Uruguay's Dr Luis showed us his genius against England, scoring two expertly taken goals to give his side the win. But almost as soon as Dr Luis had finished, Mr Suarez was on the scene attempting to bite the arm off Italian defender Giorgio Chiellini (allegedly for any Uruguayans that may be reading)!

Like Eric, Zinedine and the other examples, this wasn't an isolated incident, this being Luis third example of biting an opponent among other flash points in a chequered past but with clubs so willing to forgive and forget the misdemeanours of the most talented do we also need to look outside of the individual and closer at the game itself to understand why these moments of mental breakdown can occur?

This is by no means trying to cloud over Luis' actions and the fact he needs professional help and support is unquestionable, but in the same token it is perhaps disappointing that the sanctions imposed by FIFA, that to most would seem balanced and fair all circumstances considered, did not insist on some degree of psychiatric assessment as a mandatory requirement before he is allowed to return to the game.

More still, I am very concerned that the people closest to Luis appear to be making excuses rather than confronting the problem at hand and looking to help him for the greater good of everyone concerned.

So perhaps, following this latest incident and the further examples given serious questions need to be asked as to whether the pressures of the game, the heightened need to win is having an adverse effect on players and if all key stakeholders are doing enough to ensure the mental well being of players is maintained both during their playing career and into retirement.

True most top flight clubs these days will employ sports psychologists, however this would be with a view to preparing an athlete to win. Is as much work done on accepting defeat or would that be deemed as preparing for failure? Would clubs want their psychologists taking the edge out of a player like Luis or would they fear taking something away that might have made him so great in the first place (a common defence in accepting bad behaviour)?

I have no doubt a lot of work is done before a game, but has thought been given to providing a mental 'cool down' to players to help them recover mentally after a game in the same way that a physical cool down is now used? Anyone who has played the game at amateur level will know the effects of a win or defeat can affect your mood for the rest of that weekend if not longer.

Now some of you are probably thinking at this point "oh dear, poor Mr Footballer with his bags of money' he doesn't have problems compared to my own" yet this is a hugely unfair misconception because players are human and will encounter exactly the same level of emotions and feelings as you or I will in our day to day lives.

And although having access to such wealth means you would have the means to buy the best help when needed, this shouldn't detract from the fact that a lot of players in the game at lower levels don't receive anywhere near the levels of salary that the top professionals will receive and that people who need help will generally need initial signposts and support in order to prompt them towards that direction.

So putting the wrongs of Luis recent actions aside, perhaps this episode also shows that football could and should do a lot more in this area, to help the stars of the game both internationally and locally in this taboo and still largely misunderstood area. This might in turn help highlight the issues amongst fans and provide a greater education to the wider public and if that meant it prompted some others outside of football to seek help for their issues all the better. It's certainly something worth thinking about.

Thanks for reading

The Armchair Supporter

Cook feeling the heat

As Alastair Cook Feels the heat, is it time for him to get out of the kitchen?

With England on the brink of another humiliating defeat, and this time without an Aussie in sight (although Shane Warne is within ear shot I believe) Alastair Cook must be sensing the click, click, clicking of the gas igniting the flame beneath the caldron he currently sits in.

The honeymoon period Alastair enjoyed after taking over from Andrew Strauss has gone. The apparent midas touch a thing of the past, with this pending series loss coming on the back of the depressing and heavy 5-0 white wash in Australia. You probably wouldn't believe this, but prior to that Alastair had only tasted defeat in one of his opening 16 tests as captain, winning 9 of them.

However gIven that people had begun to question Cook's 'safe' captaincy during the 3-0 test win against Australia last summer and the way this current test has unfolded, with England at one time looking firm favourites to win, it should come as no surprise to Alastair that the number of people belonging to that group is growing faster than Old MacDonald's crops in this fine summer weather.

Another ingredient added to the pot of doubt is Alastair's batting. It has to be said that if Alastair wasn't captain he probably wouldn't be in the side at all. It's ages since we've seen him hog the crease, the elegant cover drives a distant memory and no sign of a return to form on the horizon.

His batting average of 33.92 for the 2013 calendar year was the worst posted in his career to date and the stats for 2014 don't look pretty either. A high score of 28 over 3 innings, an average of just 15.33 and his last test century over a year ago (some 22 tests no less if I've counted correctly) are not the stats a captain wants from his key opening batsman when his side is in trouble, so it must come as a great pain to Alastair that those happen to be his numbers.

It is obvious for everyone to see that Alastair is feeling the pressure, suffering from a food poisoning of the brain if you will consisting of Aussie chokes to start, a main that left you wanted Moore's, rounded off with a batting-burg collapse, all served up by that renowned stirrer in chief Kevin Peterson. (were these shoe horned puns sufficiently awful?)

Recent comments coming from Alastair back up this theory of ever building pressure, with him letting off steam at the Sri Lankians for their apparently dubious behaviour in running a man out during the one day series and requesting that "something must be done about Shane Warne" (how many English batsman have said that I wonder),

But when a captain is feeling the heat like this, what he needs most is for his team to stand up behind him. Things had looked good over the weekend with his new charged performing well with bat and ball, things were tasting good.

But suddenly the soufflé flopped, with a majority taking the standing behind your man thing too literally what with 4 of them following the captain to the dressing room in quick succession, but there are signs and reasons to stick with Alastair at this point.

For a start, the level of upheaval going on around Alastair in the team has been huge and although that shouldn't necessarily be used as an excuse for Alastair's poor performance, it may do more harm than good to the new faces in the team to replace Alastair as captain, they need playing a strong constant at the top to aid their performance as they settle into the test fold. I guess what I'm suggesting is that you suffer Alastair's poor form for the benefit of others performances both in the short term and the future.

The other thing against ringing the Bell to signal the end of Alastair's captaincy (yes that is another awful pun for those that spotted it) is that the timing isn't right. Doing so now would mean a snap appointment ahead of the 5 match series against India, far from ideal preparation for the main series of the summer or a good long term strategy for the team.

And as much as I respect Ian Bell as a cricketer, for reasons I can't really explain, I just have a feeling that he's not test match captain material. That might be unfair on Ian and be a point that you disagree on, but wouldn't it be better to yet this test side develop in the hope that a stand out candidate emerges rather than simply pass the torch as the recent trend has been? Surely Joe Root, Sam Robson or Gary Ballance feel like potential future England captains given time?

After the India series there is time available, with the next test series against New Zealand taking place until after the Cricket World Cup in May 2015.

Not only would this be an ideal opening home series for a potential new Captain to be thrust into, but there is also the possibility of letting Alastair sit out the hoard of one day games that follow the India series and clear his plate of all the mind troubles that currently consume him.

Who knows, allowing Alastair time out of the pressure kitchen that is English cricket may enable
him to rest,refocus and ultimately find a recipe for success that we can all enjoy? It's certainly food for thought

The Armchair Supporter

Van Gaal, doomed to succeed?

There will be a lot of people that took great delight in Manchester United's performances last season.

True that was fans of sides that weren't Manchester United, especially those who follow the blue side of Manchester or the red side of Liverpool, but in that sadistic way it was enjoyable nonetheless.

To try and explain it to United fans, after years of the inevitable injury time winners in Fergie time and the relentless and annoyingly successful pursuit for trophy after trophy, there was a satisfaction that you had fallen of your perch, that you had to endure something that most us go through every season... losing!

It was the fact that you had something very different to what you had become accustomed to and possibly almost expected each season. I'm sure some of you United fans would agree last season was possibly a good thing in a way because it may have grounded the club following some very heady days?

Of course the big defining change at United last season was the manager and try as he might, following the initial charity shield and opening league game against Swansea, it seemed David Moyes was doomed to failure. In hindsight Sir Alex's chosen one was a poor choice for so many reasons, so it's not surprising that David became the holder of many an unwanted United record.

However, the successor to David has now be chosen and "The chosen one after the chosen one by the unchosen board" (not sure that will catch on) seems to be a stroke of genius.  You can't help but think that where David was certainly doomed to fail all things considered, Louis is doomed to succeed!

To start to examine this paradox, when David was announced as the 'chosen one' many were underwhelmed. The way Sir Alex had built this moment, it felt like he was going to tell us all a big secret, you got the feeling he'd been concocting a master plan for his succession for years, so you wouldn't have been surprised if he announced the 'chosen one' was a specially commissioned clone of himself... or at least Jose, plucked from under the noses of Chelsea.

Unfortunately for David however, the clone Sir Alex had chosen seemed a poor copy and there were doubts in people's minds before he had started the job in earnest.

Louis on the other hand decided to officially announce himself to United fans by using his Dutch side to thrash the World Cup holders 5-1, possibly killing tika taka in the process, so not a bad way to go about things.

And as if showing his tactical genius wasn't enough, Louis had waved his magic wand to transform the form of Robin Van Persie, a player who had looked so lack lustre just a few months previous in a United shirt into master finisher again. As the Dutch captain ran over to celebrate with his national and to be club manager following his unbelievable headed goal I'm sure every United fan world wide were suddenly dreaming of titles again, not just looking to re-join the Champions League club.

There are more reasons for those United fans to dream as well, because although there are problems for the incoming manager to sort out, the pedigree and record of the man is without question, something David could not boast.

Regardless of David achievements with Everton, and no one should deny they weren't excellent, the nagging doubts in people's mind was the lack of silverware. This is not something that can be levelled at Louis, with him winning the Dutch title trice and the Spanish, German and Champions League once to name but a few of his honours to date.

Another factor in Louis' favour is the undoubted contacts that managing all over the world brings you. You can't see United being unable to attract targets this summer, with the lure of Louis and Old Trafford being a strong carrot for any player, where as last summer you would imagine David would have been an unknown name to many a player they were targeting, meaning a leap of faith was required before signing.

As it turned out, only Marouane Fellaini was willing to take what was quite a small leap for such a big man, but again you can't see Louis' marque signing, initially rumoured to be Kevin Strooman, turning out to be as much of a disappointment and you never know - he may even be able to get the best out of Marouane!

Louis also seems to have luck on his side, or maybe a good friend in the Premier League fixture compilers office, because United's opening sequence looks generous and gives the manager the very real possibility of hitting the ground running and bringing back the fear of travelling to Old Trafford for a game.

Conversely David's opening fixtures last season were far from kind and the early defeats were not only costly points wise, but from a mentality point of view because this allowed doubts from within to grow and teams began to realise this United team were beatable. Whereas before most sides went to Old Trafford with a faint hope of nicking a point, sides were leaving the bus in the car park and looking for 3!

Now what fans would deem as success in Louis' first season may vary, but when you consider
that Manchester City's crimes against the financial fair play rules may restrict them in freshening up their squad for the defence of their title, Liverpool's squad will be facing the additional pressure of Champions League football this season (and may yet lose Suarez this summer) and Jose hasn't quite got things to click at Chelsea and who's hopes will largely depend on whether Diego Costa becomes the striker they missed all last season, is the big one out of the question?

United also have the advantage of having most week nights off, what with no European competition and because Arsenal won't spend any money and flatter to deceive before finishing fourth as usual there's a whole host of positives in United's favour when you consider they're priced around 6-1 joint third favourite for the title.

So yes it's very very early to say this, especially given a ball hasn't been kicked in pre-season training and it's not something I particularly wanted to type, but I can't help think come May 2015 United fans will be celebrating both title number 21 and the dawn of a wonderful new era for the club. As I say Van Gaal and United, they're surely doomed to succeed.

The Armchair Supporter
   

Fucking Hell Wroy!

A view on England's non-performance at the World Cup from the comfort of home.


It's Saturday morning, 5am, and I'm restless. I haven't really slept, my mind buzzing with constant "what ifs", my groin tight from kicking imaginary balls and the strange decision to go for a run in the wee hours has back fired because I'm left my with the realisation that I'm no fitter than Gazza, let alone Wayne Rooney.

So I'm still in a horrible mood, I'd kick the cat if I had one (don't do this at home folks), yet why? I expect a lot of you feel the same, so why do we have this burning inner frustration at the events of the last few days? After all wasn't our expectation supposed to be low for this World Cup?

Maybe it was because we were fooled into having hope again by the promise of a new youthful attacking era (we'll comb over the fact that thus far, only 226 minutes out of an available 1980 has been played by players under the age of 23).

Maybe it's because we felt the usual suspects were at fault again and we wonder why the manager persisted with them, but conversely we also wonder why the manager left a couple of the usual suspects at home because they were obviously the answer to our problems.

I expect its a combination of a lot of things, but the biggest thing that has annoyed me is how needless the journey home after 3 games is. True I'm a nobody, an armchair supporter who watches a game armed with a pint of cider and a packet of Doritos so what would I know, yet it seemed obvious during the two warm up friendlies and two games in Brazil that Roy's preferred formation had major flaws and simply didn't work with the players he had available.

It is recognised by everyone that England's defence was a weak area, and so Roy's solution was to go on the offensive. A brave and daring plan one might think, yet the way he's gone about this is at the expense of the midfield, a teams engine room, the key battle ground for any game, and so should we be surprised if we ended up getting exposed in both midfield and defence as a result?

There was the debacle of England's left flank in the Italy game, that again showed a weakness in the managers preferred system. I'm sure it was clear to everyone there was an issue here from very early on in the game, yet this was only resolved once Italy were in the lead, tired and retreated to their 18 yard line with about 20 minutes to go. You can't help feeling if Jose was given that situation he would have made a substitution after 30 minutes, it was that big an issue.

I would concede there is a wider debate to have about the development of our young players and getting them game time at the top level in the Premier League and abroad, but this shouldn't take away from the hear and now fact that with better coaching decisions England could have conceivably been sat on 6 points now.

Maybe you will think I'm barmy with that assertion, maybe that I'm being unfair pointing the finger at just the manager, not the "vastly over paid players", but then again Roy is paid well himself (2nd highest paid manager in the tournament) and in my mind the key things he could control, such as squad selection, team selection and formation contained glaring errors. You only have to look at teams like Costa Rica, Chile and France (what a transformation) to see what good coaching and decision making can do to sides.

Personally, I can't help feel Roy is no longer managing as he sees things, he's now manage a perception, managing how he thinks we think he should manage. This is surely evident in the way he's tried to impose this 4-2-3-1 system, almost as a way of proving to the press and wider public he's not a defensive and rigid 4-4-2 man.

He was briefly his own man when he selected Sterling through the middle with Rooney out wide for the opener, yet following the backlash from pundits and journalists alike who declared on mass "Rooney must play through the middle" (and in a quieter voice "or not at all") Roy backed down citing the largely unbelievable "tactical decision" as the reason for the change of heart. This is never a good sign and time may tell that our one positive performance so far was a defeat against a not so great and ageing Italian side.

My frustrations and protestations aside, the FA have declared they will stand by their man through to 2016, but then you wouldn't expect anything else at this stage with one game still to play.

However a realisation may dawn that with continued questions over the Managers performance to come over the next few weeks, plus the need to find new sponsors and sell tickets for the European Qualifiers coming up at Wembley, they will need to offer all England fans renewed hope and surely that can only be achieved by installing a new man? I'm sorry Roy, I know you mean well and would like more time, but then so did David Moyes!

Here's hoping for a better 2016.

Armchair Supporter